


"That's All I Ask."

by xiewoo (xiearf)



Series: Angsty November [6]
Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 14:47:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12819834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiearf/pseuds/xiewoo
Summary: sunggyu is promised a wish





	"That's All I Ask."

**JUNE 9, 2010 – 2.37 AM**

“I’ve been looking for you.” The night sky suddenly was not as dark, shining with a light that was Woohyun’s soft smile upon seeing him on the roof. He returned it, and walked to him, to where the railing was, to where the line drawn on, to what holding they back, to the end that tempted them on the hardest days. “It’s cold, and late. What’re you doing here?”

The question floated with the air, hanging above them, hovering like the stars. They settled in a comfortable silence, staring into the night sky. No wonder Woohyun loved it here – on his best days or worst – the sky was beautiful. Whatever a duality could be, Sunggyu believed the sky had it while Woohyun believed that no one and nothing but the stars would be with him and for him.

Back then, Sunggyu thought it was all the push they gotten, to what had brought Woohyun up here the first time. It was not, what appeared to be instead, he was looking for comfort, for the stars. ‘ _The stars are watching, looking after us_ ,’ he explained when Sunggyu asked, softly, whispering. ‘ _Is it a secret?_ ’ Sunggyu asked back, to which Woohyun silenced him with a shrug.

Thus, Sunggyu learned, of where to find the black haired male if he was not in bed, so late at night or very early in the morning. He’d be there, up there, always.

After the management announced their official debut date and showcase, Sunggyu went on lookout since. His sleep was restless, not because of his own pumping blood, but the other’s. Once an hour, he checked, the sleep would push him awake, so he could peer on his side, to see if Woohyun was really the lump beneath a pile of blanket.

He was there, every night – every night, until tonight.

About a quarter past two, Sunggyu jolted awake, his hair was standing all over. Woohyun was not there beside him. He did not panic. He knew where he was, he just needed to find him, so he’d know he’ll be okay.

“How’re you feeling?” Another question lifted the silence, this time from Woohyun. Sunggyu’s had gone, blown by the wind. Fine by him though, he knew the answer already. “Our debut, it is tomorrow.”

“How are _you_ coping?” This time too, Sunggyu did not need Woohyun to answer him to understand what he was feeling.

While it was exciting and thrilling, debut also promised a whole lot responsibility. Knowing Woohyun, the soft fragile Woohyun, he was not taking it well, like the others. Instead of all the excitement, his head was full of obligations and duties ahead. As a main vocal, he would be carrying the whole weight for the group. He was going to be one of the first impressions for their future audience.

Being the one who received quite a lot counsels as to leave the group before had him bad. Out of many times Sunggyu found Woohyun up here in the rooftop of a high-rise apartment in their resident, was he worrying whether it would be better for the group if he left as suggested.

Tonight was the same, but bigger.

He noticed the veins popping out along the arms as Woohyun gripped on the rail. That was what holding him, and it was not the first time the younger thought about flying down the height. They all had it hard, but Woohyun had it more, and he was not the type that could cope very well.

“Would you hear me out?”

“Isn’t it obvious that I am here now?”

That brief moment their eyes matched, fire ignited inside, warming him. Then, Woohyun’s face fall, water splashed all over, putting the fire away.

It had gotten colder, very cold. Nothing was bigger than his urge to reach out and draw Woohyun inside his arms, to warm them both. But there was distance between them, bigger than in reality. Woohyun was always away, up there, down there, away from him. Never, he could ever get to him.

“How to cope, hyung?”

“Why to?”

Woohyun sighed, part of frustrations flew out with it. Then, he turned around completely, so they were facing each other. How, Sunggyu wondered, could someone act so happy and playful outside when he was so broken inside? How did Woohyun do that?

“Stop answering my question with question.”

“You didn’t answer me first time.”

“You already know it.”

Shrug was all Sunggyu offered, where Woohyun sighed again, turning back for the sky. Silence came again, lurking and wrapped them all over. Sunggyu calculated from the side, there was about five inches between Woohyun’s left hand and his right along the railing. He could easily reach over, to take it in his, to hold it, to let him know that he had him too and not just the stars, to let him know that he would be there for him, always. He could, but he did not.

“I’m not good at coping either.” Sunggyu broke it. “I’m just good at hiding.” It was quiet, still, and he knew Woohyun was waiting for him to continue. “I have to be strong. I have to stay dry when the rest are all tears. I have to hold everyone together. I need to. I should not break. Hiding does not make me stronger, but it makes me feel better. It let me believe that I could face tomorrow, that I could face it one more time, and many times more ahead.”

“You say I should hide?”

“I say you’re doing okay, hiding, I mean. It is the best we could get. But I have found you, and that’s okay.” _Cause you got me, while I was alone, at the corner of our room, bawling my tears out while the boys went out for lunch_.

“I don’t understand where this is going.”

Sunggyu smiled, faintly, without turning. ‘ _I don’t too_ ,’ he replied, softly as the words caught in his throat. Woohyun did not question him, only laughter followed, so out of place, so beautiful.

“We’re a mess, aren’t we? We’ll never be strong enough.”

“We can try.” Sunggyu suggested, a little too away from his clear mind. “We could make a bet.”

“What bet?”

“We keep it in. Who loses, grant the winner a wish.”

“How long?” Shrug. “What if it gets too much?”

“Hide, told you, hide.”

“You already know where to find me.”

It warmed him, in the weirdest way, the words did. His insides tingled, though he should not, for Woohyun knowing how much he understood him. It was nothing, but everything for him. He liked to be recognized. He loved that Woohyun knew.

“I won’t then, unless I have to. I won’t use my knowledge to my advantage.”

“Alright, deal, then.”

The stars saw it; when they shook hands, signing a verbal agreement. One at far away blinked, sealing the promise with memories, one that would fade with time, but it was okay. The stars would remind them when the time comes, because they would be there. The stars will, just as Woohyun said, look after them.

 

 

**JUNE 9, 2017 – 2.01 AM**

It was not what Sunggyu imagined.

Several different scenarios flashed in his head the moment Woohyun left the meeting room, without word, without sound. He took off in light speed, not bothered to excuse self, or to wait until the proceeding finished. None of the members had the chance to say anything, or to hold him back. He just fled. Like a wind, he was gone.

Woohyun was out there, front pressed against the railing, looking up at the dark sky, like a statue. A beautiful one, bathed with moonlight, shone by the stars. ‘ _Could have mistaken him with an angel_ ,’ his heart whispered as a smile grazed on his lips.

What Sunggyu imagined was, Woohyun curled up by the wall, knees to his chest and face buried in the shallow. He imagined Woohyun would be shaking so hard, he would be crying and sobbing so much until he could not produce any proper word. The stars would cry with him, the moon would hide because it was so upsetting to look at this little angel had fallen down, facing the Earth and unable to stand up.

In reality, the stars shone particularly brighter, as if they were giving him all the support needed. He heard from the news that tonight, the moon going to be the smallest in years. Either he heard it wrong, or they made a mistake taking readings because the sky was so bright. He would not need light to walk the paths.

 “I’ve been looking for you.” That way, he announced his arrival.  There was a buffer. It was so quiet that night; he could hear a soft snort coming from Woohyun’s direction. The younger took a while to turn around. He smiled but it did not reach his eyes, and it pained Sunggyu more than he thought it could. Keeping himself together, Sunggyu walked over, settled against the rail beside the main vocalist. “It’s cold, and late. What’re you doing here?”

Woohyun was not gazing at the sky anymore. His eyes were on him, studying his face as if he painted the whole sky on it, the pimples that rained on him upon stress were the stars.

Sunggyu tightened his grip on the rail, trying his best not to return the gaze because he knew he would lose it too easily. Even from the distance, he could feel it that Woohyun was reaching out, asking for warmness and pillars to support him. However, it was not only Sunggyu’s arms and back. He was asking for anything, anyone who could do that for him.

For all the stars that have fallen and those who still up there looking after them, he swore, there was nothing he wanted to do other than pull the yearning man into his arms, to hug the broken out of him. He wanted to, but he could not. He had drawn a line, long ago. He was not going to cross it, as it soon would surely turn against him. The consequences could be too much for him to handle. He had been dealing with the patching of his heart for years. Another one of heartbreaks going to kill him.

“The members are looking for you, Jungyeop hyung too, and the managers. We are all…”

“I thought you promised not to use it as advantage.”

As the years passed, Sunggyu thought it was only he who still holding onto it, the promise they made seven years ago at this exact place, on this exact date, roughly the same time. Never had it ever crossed his mind before that Woohyun would too. Something lighted inside of him, which made him feel worse because Woohyun currently was at the edge.

“I said unless I have to… which it appears to be just that.” A heavy sigh followed. “How are you coping?”

“How’s this feeling like a Déjà vu?”

“It happened, doesn’t it?”

“Never this… bad.”

He heard him choked on the last word. Sunggyu gripped harder. His resolve was crumbling down slowly, so as Woohyun’s tears. With a heavy sigh, Sunggyu threw his resolve into the night and pull Woohyun into his arms. Two fists clutched tightly on either side of his collar, while the owner pressed nose onto the crook of his neck.

“Why would he do that?”

“He has dreams to chase for.”

“Why can’t I be part of the picture?”

Sunggyu bit his lips, closed his eyes briefly as to grip and tie his composure down. The departure news was no foreign to him even before this night. Howon came and talked it through several months ago. Living up until that moment, hiding it from everyone, especially Woohyun was equal of having on feet dipped into lava, burning his flesh and bone. He kept it, because he understood what Howon wanted and why he decided on that. However, tonight, he bore this huge urge to tear down the company and beat their ex-rapper into pulps.

Because he hurt Woohyun.

He hurt h _is_ Woohyun.

“He said it was not enough.” Woohyun sobbed, pulled away from the warm until they were eyes to eyes. His grips tightened as he choked out. “He said my love was not enough. He said there was so much more. He said, I didn’t give him my everything. H-hyung, I have loved him with all my heart. I loved him with what I have. How could he… how could…”

 _God_ , how could this be so hard? How to stay calm when Woohyun breaking down into pieces right before his eyes?

“He lied, then.”

“B-but…”

“I saw you.” _I always do_. “You loved him so much.” _And only him, always him_. “He’s lying. Trust hyung, okay?”

Carefully, he pulled Woohyun back to his place, hugging him, keeping him warm, helping him stand. Sunggyu didn’t care about the line anymore. He’d cross it again and again, if it was for Woohyun.

“What you wish for?”

“Hmm?”

“You found me. I lost. Tell me your wish.”

Sunggyu kept quiet, no will to speak just yet. He ought to be careful. It was just one wish and he could ask for anything – but just one. Maybe he could ask for a date. He could finally ask him out for dinner; a dinner that was not platonic. A romantic one. And then he will confess. Or he could simply ask Woohyun to go out with him, to date him. Woohyun could not deny this wish, whatever it was.

‘ _No_.’ As desperate as he was, no, he would not want that. He wanted Woohyun to fall for him, he wanted the boy’s love – the same way Woohyun had loved Howon for the past seven years, the same way he had loved Woohyun for the past eight years.

Somehow, later, their eyes found each other again. Despite all the hurt he felt inside, his lips curled into a smile, because it was too much and it was better than crying.

“Hyung,” Said Woohyun. The younger snorted, also smiling with a soft laugh and poked his shoulder, teasingly. “You’re so out of place. Why are you suddenly smiling?”

Sunggyu felt his smile growing bigger, as much as his pain but then again, he felt warm. Woohyun was right. He was so out of place. So messy. So twisted. Such an idiot.

“That.” He said, finally, swallowing back a sob. “That’s my wish. Your smile. I want you to smile, and laugh, and be happy again. That’s all I ask.”

And for the next minutes, their eyes never left each other, so did Woohyun’s smile, which now had reached his ears. Sunggyu realized that time that it was okay not to have Woohyun love him that, and it was okay if Woohyun loved someone else, it was okay to watch Woohyun kissing someone else.

It was okay, as long as Woohyun was happy.

That was all he wished for.

**Author's Note:**

> see you on november next year = )


End file.
